There’s a feeling that a lot of us carry around—especially those of us living with mental health struggles—and it’s not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it’s quiet. Sometimes it hides behind jokes, people-pleasing, overworking, shutting down, or trying to prove ourselves.
It’s that deep, heavy belief: “I’m not good enough.”
And once that thought gets planted, it doesn’t just stay in your head. It starts affecting how you see yourself, how you handle relationships, how you react to criticism, how you deal with failure, and even how you accept love.
That “not good enough” feeling is usually not who you are. It’s something that happened to you… or something you learned to believe to survive.
Why This Hits So Hard With Mental Health
When you already deal with depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, addiction recovery, or just the daily fight to keep your mind steady, that “not good enough” feeling can get amplified. It can sound like:
- “I mess everything up.”
- “I’m always behind.”
- “People would be better off without me.”
- “I don’t deserve good things.”
- “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.”
Over time, it becomes exhausting. Because you’re not just living life—you’re fighting a mental war while trying to look normal on the outside. And that’s why so many people burn out, isolate, numb out, or give up. Not because they’re weak… but because carrying that belief is heavy.
Where “I’m Not Good Enough” Often Comes From
A lot of the time, it starts early. Childhood experiences—especially the painful, confusing, or neglectful ones—can shape the way we view ourselves. The problem is, when we’re kids, we don’t have the words or emotional tools to process what’s happening.
So instead of thinking, “Something is wrong with what I’m going through,” we often end up thinking, “Something must be wrong with me.”
For me, a big part of that “not good enough” feeling goes back to childhood trauma and my relationship with my father. That’s something I’ve had to face, process, and honestly… I’m still processing it.
Starting at the Root (Even When It’s Hard)
One thing I’ve learned is this: if you only treat the symptoms, you stay stuck fighting the same battles. You might change habits, try to stay positive, distract yourself, or push forward—and those things can help in the moment— but if the root belief is still there, the pain finds new ways to show up.
That’s why I had to start from the beginning. I had to go back to the root of the problem. Not to stay in the past. Not to blame forever. But to finally understand why my brain and body learned to feel unsafe, unworthy, and “less than.”
How EMDR Therapy Can Help
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. I’m not going to act like it’s a magic trick—because it’s not—but I will say this: EMDR can help you process trauma in a way that regular talk therapy sometimes can’t reach.
For a lot of people, trauma isn’t stored like a normal memory. It can get stuck and stay raw in your nervous system—like it’s still happening. EMDR helps the brain reprocess those stuck memories so they lose their emotional charge. The memory might still be there, but it doesn’t control you the same way. It becomes less triggering, less overwhelming, and less heavy.
Beliefs EMDR can help loosen over time:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “I’m not safe.”
- “I don’t matter.”
- “I’m unlovable.”
- “Everything is my fault.”
Those beliefs don’t always fade because someone tells you you’re valuable. They fade when your mind and body finally learn: “That was then. This is now. I survived. And I’m allowed to heal.”
Therapy Didn’t Make Me Weak—It Made Me Honest
Some people still treat therapy like it’s only for people who are “broken.” I don’t see it that way. I see therapy as one of the bravest things someone can do, because it means you’re willing to face what you’ve been avoiding.
For me, EMDR has been helping. It’s not always comfortable. Sometimes it’s emotional. Sometimes it leaves me drained. But I can honestly say: it’s getting easier with every session.
I carried that “not good enough” feeling for a long time. For years, it felt like it was just part of who I was. Now I’m learning it’s not who I am. It’s what I learned. And what’s learned can be unlearned.
If You’ve Been Feeling “Not Good Enough,” Hear Me On This
That belief might feel real… but feelings aren’t always facts. You are not “not good enough.” You are someone who has been through things that shaped you.
If you’re willing to do the work—whether that’s EMDR, talk therapy, support groups, faith, journaling, recovery, or all of the above— then you are already proving something: you haven’t given up.
Healing is possible. Progress is real. And you don’t have to carry that lie forever. One session at a time. One step at a time. One honest moment at a time.
Josh Bridges
YOU {R} NOT ALONE YOU HAVE A VOICE! 