Gratitude When Life Still Hurts

Holidays are funny.
You see all the pictures online—matching pajamas, smiling kids, big family dinners—and it looks like everyone else is living inside a Christmas movie.

Meanwhile, some of us are just trying to make it through the day without breaking down.

If that’s you, I want you to know this: you’re not broken because gratitude is hard right now. You’re not ungrateful. You’re human.

This blog isn’t about pretending everything is okay. It’s about learning how to say “thank You” even when life still hurts.

When Gratitude Feels Fake

I used to think gratitude meant ignoring the bad stuff.

Be positive. Look on the bright side. Other people have it worse.
You know those lines.

But how are you supposed to be “grateful” when:

Your mental health is still a daily battle
Addiction recovery is still fragile
Your body’s fighting things like diabetes
Your family isn’t all under one roof
The past still sneaks up and punches you in the chest

If you’ve ever sat in a room full of people laughing while your heart felt heavy, you know what I mean.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Real gratitude doesn’t erase your pain. It sits beside it.

You can be grateful and grieving.
You can be thankful and tired.
You can love your life and still wish some things were different.

Both can be true at the same time.

My Life Isn’t “Fixed” – But I’m Still Thankful

I’m not writing this from some perfect, cleaned-up life where everything magically worked out.

I’m a recovering alcoholic.
I live with PTSD, major depression, and ADHD.
I’m a Type 2 diabetic trying to take better care of my body.
I’ve had some really dark moments in my past, including suicidal thoughts.
My kids don’t live with me right now. That one alone can crush you if you let it.

So no, everything is not “fixed.”

But here’s what I can honestly say I’m grateful for:

Another sober day. My sobriety date is more than just a date on a calendar. It’s proof that I’m not who I used to be.
My mom and stepdad. They’ve stood by me when it would have been easier to walk away. Going to church with my mom has been a huge blessing.
Therapy. I see multiple therapists, and it’s not a sign of weakness. It’s one of the reasons I’m still here.
A roof over my head. It might not be a mansion, but it’s safe, it’s mine, and I remember when I didn’t have that kind of stability.
My health progress. I’ve lost weight. I’m learning to eat better. I’m checking my blood sugar and trying to take my body seriously. It’s not perfect, but it’s progress.
My church. Sitting in a pew, listening to the Word, praying with people who actually care— this has been a lifeline.
My people. Family, friends in recovery, people who answer the phone or text back when I’m not okay.
My cat. Laugh if you want, but having a little furball around the house can make even the heaviest days feel a little less empty.

None of these things cancel out the hard stuff. But they shine some light into it.

You Don’t Have to Be “Okay” to Be Grateful

If you’re anything like me, you might feel guilty sometimes:

“How can I be this sad when I have so much to be grateful for?”
“How can I complain when someone else has it worse?”

Listen: comparison is a thief.
It steals your right to be honest about your own pain.

You’re allowed to say, “Thank You, God, for what I have” and also, “This still hurts.”

God isn’t up there with a scoreboard saying, “Well, they have a house, so no sadness allowed.” That’s not how this works.

Scripture says, “Give thanks in all circumstances,” not for all circumstances.
I don’t have to be thankful for trauma, addiction, or loss.
But I can be thankful that, in those things, I’m not alone.

Small Ways to Practice Gratitude When You’re Struggling

On the days when life feels heavy, long gratitude lists can feel impossible. So here are some small, simple ways to practice gratitude when your brain and heart are tired:

1. One Line a Day

Grab a notebook or the notes app on your phone.
Write one thing you’re grateful for. Just one.

“I woke up.”
“I made it through another day sober.”
“Someone texted me back.”
“I had a hot shower.”
“I laughed at something today.”

If that’s all you can do, that’s enough.

2. Text One “Thank You”

Pick one person and send them a short message:

“Hey, just wanted to say thanks for being there.”
“I appreciate you checking on me.”
“You matter to me.”

You don’t have to write a novel. Just a simple thank you.
Gratitude grows when we speak it out loud.

3. Turn Complaints into Honest Prayers

If you pray, you don’t have to clean your words up for God.
You can say:

“God, I’m tired. I’m hurting. I wish things were different… but thank You that I’m not alone in it. Thank You for the strength to keep going today.”

That is gratitude. It may be messy, but it’s real.

If you’re not into prayer, that’s okay too. You can still pause, breathe, and say:

“This day is hard… but I’m glad I’m still here.”

4. Notice Little Things

Not everything has to be deep and heavy. Sometimes gratitude is:

The way coffee smells in the morning
A song you forgot you loved
A funny video that made you smile
A quiet moment where nobody needs anything from you

Those small things are not “dumb.” They’re proof that life still has good in it, even on ugly days.

5. Be Grateful for Progress, Not Perfection

If you’re in recovery, you might beat yourself up for not being “farther along.”

But think about where you were a year ago.
Think about the person who thought they’d never change.
Think about the times you almost gave up—and didn’t.

Gratitude in recovery sounds like:

“I may not be where I want to be, but I’m not where I was.”
“I slipped, but I didn’t stay down.”
“I’m learning. I’m growing. I’m trying again.”

That counts.

Gratitude Doesn’t Mean You’re Done Healing

I used to think that once I was truly grateful, I’d stop hurting.

Now I see it differently:
Gratitude doesn’t mean the story is finished. It means you’re still in it.

You can be:

Grateful for your kids and still miss them so much it aches
Grateful for your recovery and still have days where cravings show up
Grateful for your faith and still have questions
Grateful for your life and still have days where getting out of bed is a win

If that’s where you are, there is nothing wrong with you.

If You’re Reading This and You’re Hurting

If you’re reading this with tears in your eyes or a knot in your chest, I want to say this directly to you:

You are not a burden.
You are not weak because this season is hard.
You are not ungrateful because you’re still in pain.
You are not alone.

Gratitude doesn’t have to look like a holiday movie.
Sometimes it looks like:

“I made it through the day.”
“I didn’t pick up a drink.”
“I reached out instead of isolating.”
“I let someone love me today.”

If that’s where you’re at, I’m proud of you.
And if you’re not there yet, I’m still proud of you for reading this and not giving up.

One breath. One prayer. One honest “thank You” at a time.

You {R} Not Alone.

– Josh Bridges