In Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says: “We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.”
Judgments keep us disconnected and lacking in confidence. The truth is, most of us are trying to do our best. No one is perfect. We are going to make mistakes, and we are going to make different choices from each other.
So instead of judging each other, let’s recognize our connection and be more confident in our own choices.
The next time you notice a judgment come up, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I really know the whole picture, or am I making assumptions?
- Is there something in this person’s situation that I can relate to?
- How am I feeling about myself and my decisions? Am I judging myself harshly?
- What might be this person’s struggles? Can I turn the judgment into empathy, compassion, or even some kind words?