Forgiveness is not tricky. We make it difficult. It is easier to forgive a stranger than it is to forgive a family member or a close friend. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and realizing the prisoner is you. Forgiving others is freeing. It is to let go of the longing for the past to be different. Forgiveness has been shown to elevate mood, enhance optimism and guard against anger, stress, anxiety, and depression. Carrying around resentment leads the body to release stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Forgiveness brings physical health benefits, such as lowering the risk of high blood pressure and heart problems. The term forgiveness has a strong connection with a person’s physical and mental health. If a person doesn’t have a solid heart to forgive other people, then they will stay in a never-ending state of anger, depression, and anxiety. Forgiveness is the most significant human virtue and is much nobler than revenge. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It does seem at times easier to withhold forgiveness and remain a victim. The forgiveness that I have given away or have received has shaped me into who I am today, which has become a part of me. When I was younger, when I felt defeated or that I wasn’t forgiven for something, I would be more observant and build a wall to make sure I didn’t do it again. I didn’t realize I was only hurting myself by doing this. I would separate myself from the situations rather than face them. To forgive should be entirely voluntary and not pressured to do so. If a person is pressured to forgive, then the emotional ties to the offense might not be broken. They will still be suffering from the offense. People trapped in unforgiveness sometimes find the will to forgive on the realization that failing to do so and holding on to it is a significant contributor to their suffering. I struggle with forgiving myself, and I hold on to it, and it eats me up inside. I truly need to forgive myself and move on, and I make the process of forgiving myself very difficult because I don’t think I deserve forgiveness from other people, let alone myself. That’s what my depression tells me anyways. It should be easy, but my mental health makes it hard, and I have to work on it daily.
It is a complicated process, but I know I make it that way. It may take years, but I will hopefully get there. You can, too, and sooner than later, move on with life. Talk with your therapist or mentors and develop a plan to forgive yourself or forgive someone else. We all will most likely have to go about it delicately and differently. But, in the end, we will be better people and will have developed technics for future situations. Hopefully, this helps in some way. If you have any questions feel free to call or message me. Thanks for reading, and remember you are not alone, and you matter.
I understand the struggle to forgive yourself. I don’t know how to do it at times either. I am a work progress on that. Thank you for sharing. Keep fighting for awareness.
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Totally agree. When you realise that bearing a grudge hurts you more than the other person, forgiving them is setting yourself free.
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Boy you hit the nail on the head. I was getting on my phone to do my daily meditation reading and decided to check out your blog first. I read about forgiveness and it was exactly what I needed for right now. Thanks again. Your blogs will now become part of my routine selection of readings. Keep on sharing
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