I envy the fact that others have good night kisses and talk about their day with their children. I got sick, and someone decided I wasn’t good enough for my children. Maybe I wasn’t at that moment in time, but I got better, and I am good enough. I was always good enough; I just needed the right help. I have no ill will towards the people that took my children. I wish they would have worked with everyone and went about things differently. I have to deal with the fact that some people don’t understand mental illness, and it’s not their fault. I was fortunate to have people educated about mental health who didn’t judge me and offered me help when I was sick and desperate. When I’m finally allowed to raise my children again, I hope that they take time like others have to try and understand what their father went through, what I go through every day. I hope they find it in their heart to forgive me. It was the worst I ever felt in my life, and I listened to people when they told me I was nothing but a drunk. I feed into the fact that I was worthless and better off dead. I still fight that way of thinking to this day. When people look down on you and judge you for so long, not realizing you have a mental illness or not believing your mental illness is real. You, yourself, start to believe it. I love the fact when I have people that reach out and say I think my son, daughter, husband, wife, or loved one has a problem, I don’t understand it, and I don’t know what to do. That’s how families should work. Depression, addiction, and other mental illnesses are just that an ILLNESS. It’s upsetting how much society has created the stigma that we are bad people and choose to have these illnesses. I never realized how bad it was until I started seeing it in every walk of life. I hear stories from all over the world of people suffering and how society treats them. I hope to leave a mark in this world to spark something in someone. If enough people start standing up against the stigma, the lies about mental health, we can make a difference. I started this as just a small idea that I could maybe help one person. I sit here two months later and am proud to say I have touched thousands of lives all over the world. Every time I feel like maybe I should give up when It gets complicated, or I feel like I’m not trying hard enough and studying enough. I get messages from people everywhere telling me not to stop that I give them hope. I get pictures from a mother dropping her child off at a rehab saying, “I don’t know what you told them, but you did what I have been trying for years, thank you.” The individuals who were ready to die because they couldn’t deal with the depression finally decided to get therapy because someone that understood them gave them hope. I could go on and on with success stories that I get to be a part of. I would say that I don’t mean to gloat but honestly, why the fuck not. If there were any time to do so, it would be now, and to have the opportunity to share the success of others taking that step to change the rest of their lives. What an honor it is to be able to be a part of that. I really cant wait to see what the future holds and the countless lives that could be saved. If you are out there and see someone suffering, stop and ask if they’re okay. Ask if you can sit and talk with them and listen you may never realize how much just listening to someone can help. That right there could change that person’s day. With that being said, take care of yourself, take care of each other, and spread love and kindness wherever you go. Have a blessed day, and remember you are not alone.




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