Hey, mom just wanted to tell you how much I love you. You praised me in my ups, and you comforted me in my downs. I have been through hell and back, and you never left my side. You nursed every scrape and bruise, you wiped every tear, and you listened to every pain of sadness. I’m sorry I cause you to worry. I’m sorry for the nights you stayed up crying, begging God to help. I m sorry grandma could not be there to wipe your tears. I know you miss your mother dearly. I hold every moment close to my heart of the many drop-offs to hospitals and institutions.
I know that ride home for you was painful. To see your child in so much pain and nothing you could do to help them is a pain all in its self too much for a mother to bear. You are the strongest person I know. You wear your heart on your sleeve, and you don’t care who sees. I hope my struggles didn’t embarrass you. I hope you know I didn’t mean to hurt you. I remember thinking if I die, you would finally be able to breathe, knowing I’m not in pain anymore. I know now that decision would have been more painful for you than any relapse and mental breakdown I had. You have been through a lot that the outside world didn’t see. It was frustrating for you that you didn’t understand my addiction and depression fully, but you took the time to listen and educate yourself. You found out there was help for you too and that you were not alone. I love how our relationship has grown to what it is today and your never-ending support of who I am, my dreams, and what I want to accomplish. You push me to never give up. I always look forward to your soft-spoken words of “you got this son, your in the place at the right time doing the right thing.” I hope the remaining time this world gets to have and enjoy your love, care, and overwhelming compassion for others is blessed and repaid with peace and happiness. You are truly everything I hope to be.
-With love from your only and grateful son.